Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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