Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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