i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
