I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The air was thick with penises
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
