Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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