I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
