I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize