Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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