Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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