Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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