what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize