I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
