Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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