you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
