I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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