Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
