i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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