Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
