Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
