Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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