did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
