all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
