She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it's great music for shaving your balls
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
