I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I know her cup size but not her name....
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