I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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