weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
