I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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