I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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