Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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