Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
