I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
