some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
