My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
