Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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