Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
