You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
