the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
