I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize