ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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