This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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