Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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