Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
