Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize