Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
