nut hugger
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
