I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is classic penis vs brain.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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