you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
