if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
