I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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