God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
