so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
