Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
