therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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