I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
