I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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