Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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