Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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