Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
third nipple confirmed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
