and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
