he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
