Where is the hickey?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
