You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize