If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
