walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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