Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
