Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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