Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
