I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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