thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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