The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
