bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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