Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
