You made me cry and you don't even care
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize