the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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